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Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Staples Center Adventures

Welp, I was in Los Angeles with my friends Becky, Sam, and CK for three days, and let me tell you, it was pretty fucking swell. I can honestly tell you that Monday was the BEST DAY OF MY LIFE for several reasons.

We go into Staples Center, which is a beautiful place, and we go down by the tunnell so we can be like YEAH HAWKS YEAH when they come out for pre-game warm-ups and all, and we run into this guy in a Burish jersey and his dad (I think). He was from Chicago and was visiting for the Ducks and Kings games, and he had Burish and Burish’s mom’s autographs on his jersey. Epic win, right?

So, we’re waiting and waiting, when suddenly Burish jersey man says, “Hey, is that Duncs?” So everyone crowds around and looks down the tunnel and we suspect either Kaner or Duncs was having his pre-game stretches done RIGHT THERE. Tazer passed by wearing a hood, too, and people yelled “HEY JONNY!” and such. It was great.

The guys came out and high-fived everyone with their hands out sans a select few (*COUGH*KOPECKY*COUGH*) but it was awesome. I told Turco that I supported him and he gave me a brofist with his blocker. It was epic win, my friends.

So we took our seats that weren’t actually behind the bench after all, but were on the other side of the tunnel from where we were to begin with (which is 100% fine because I liked it better there anyway). There were THE MOST OBNOXIOUS KINGS FANS EVER in the very front row that kept POUNDING on the glass each time someone skated by, or if Bickell would hit someone, and it got so fucking annoying that Turco, who was sitting behind the glass right next to them, kept side-eyeing and glaring at them each time they did it. Turco’s bitch face is amazing, just so you know.

So, the whole Staples Center was all “HAWKS SUCK” so I shouted “KINGS SUCK” instead because lol I’m a Blackhawks fan, right? So they old lady in front GLARED at me while I did that and for the whole rest of the game, she kept trying to outyell me. I’d shout, “LET’S GO HAWKS!” and she’d yell “GO KINGS GO” and “GET THE PUUUUCK” or “HIT THAT BIG GUY!” So if you see us making fun of her on Twitter and crap, yeah. It was hilarious.

The funniest thing, though, was that Sam said that Dave Bolland kept eyeballing her. She said they were becoming best friends through staring contests. Kings fans in the crowd also did not like Doughty. They were yelling at him a lot, saying, “DO SOMETHING DOUGHTY” and “PULL YOUR FUCKING WEIGHT, DOUGHTY.” It was ridiculously hilarious. I made a sign in the third period that said “Don’t Hassle the Hoss” because they had crap to make a sign, so I did.

Oh, there was a guy in a Red Wings jacket who was a lot nicer than the stupid Kings fans in the very front. LOLOLOL ~IRONY~

I actually found some pictures from the Kings/Blackhawks gallery that have us in them:

So anyway, we won and shit, and we were high-fiving all of the Hawks fans on our way out because Hawks fans are amazing, and we were on our way out. So, we were waiting and waiting, Sam and Becky were getting nervous because they weren’t sure if it was going to happen again, (there was literally the 4 of us and like… ONE other family which was the one that was there the last time Sam and Becky met players), and much to everyone’s surprise, HERE COMES VIKTOR STALBERG.

He was a nice guy, but I think he might be a kleptomaniac as he tried to steal my sharpie. He seemed kind of terrified when people started mobbing toward him, but he was really nice and signed things for everyone before he left, confused.

The next ones out were MURDERSAURUS, Hendry, and Bryan Bickell. No one wanted Bickell’s autograph except for me. Poor Pickles. I got an amazing picture with John Scott that shows how fucking tall he really is:

Please Note: I am 5’5, maybe 5’6. Yeah. Anyway, MURDERSAURUS is the sweetest guy ever. He took pictures with everyone and bent down for Sam’s because she was too short. It was amazing.

Seabs, Hjalmarsson, and Soupy came out, too, but they just said hi. They didn’t stop to sign anything, which is a-ok. Duncs came out and signed for a few people and then took off with Seabs and Soupy.
Turco came out and took some quick pictures with some people, including Becky because she LOOVES him. Marty Turco + little kids = EXPLODING OVARIES. I don’t even fucking care. He was cleaned up and looked really nice, too. He’s only an inch taller than Kaner, though, so.

Sharpy signed for everyone (holy fuck that man in person <333), Bolland signed for everyone and was a srs derp as usual, and then Hossa and Kopecky came out. They were both really nice and signed things for everyone, and I got myself a picture with Hossa. He actually looks… incredibly derpy.



Not that I look any better, but… LOL. My friend CK’s picture with him is the derpiest thing ever. It’s hilarious. I’ll have to post it later. I accidentally tripped over Hossa, though, because I was trying to move out of the way for Kopecky to sign things (he stole my sharpie, too… those Europeans), but I accidentally stepped on Hossa’s foot and almost fell over. I apologized profusely. Ugh. My derp moment of the trip. Hossa was taking his time signing until Kopecky started yelling at him in Slovak. Then he says in his awesome accent, “Sorry guys, I haff to go.”

Coach Q came out, and I had him sign my jersey, and he’s a REALLY nice guy, too. The rest of the team took a bus to their hotel right across the street, probably with their moms.

All in all, it was probably the best day ever. Might as well end the world now. COME AT ME, 2012. But seriously, if you guys ever get the chance to meet the players and sit in the 100-level, DO IT.

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